2.23.2012

Every day I come into my classroom and I feel the possibilities, the hope, the future.  No, I am not intolerably optimistic or even overly unaware of what the world is really like, I just want to believe that my life's dream is meaningful to more than just me.  Is this advanced and socially acceptable narcissism, maybe, but it is the way I get through the tough hours, days, or weeks depending on the impending level of chaos and/or lack of money in my bank account.
Now, I tried this whole blogging fiasco two years ago and although I love to write (narcissism again, lol) I get so caught up in the everyday teaching, paying bills, being a mother to my 8 year old little genius girlly and my 4 year old tough as nails, pain in my ass, best friend son, that I forget to write, ever.
My days are spent in a somewhat imperfect set of routine.  I get up as early as I can every morning, as I am not so anally sensitive that I have a perfect and set routine, as I find this is not applicable to my freedom loving lefty self.  I get my children up, to the chagrin of my boyfriend Kev, who loves to sleep as late as possible but rises with prodding and lots of hugs.  He has been helping me watch Nolan lately and although this is a non-traditional and somewhat odd arrangement to many, it works most of the time for us.  After getting my 3 sloths out of bed; breakfast, clothes, shower (not in that order) and I'm off.  I am apparently also slightly masochistic as in the middle of this Colorado winter I decided to give up coffee, reasons may or may not come later, and seem to be taking longer to get into fast mode in the morning. I always wanted to be one of the those "perfect weight", lean, yoga supermoms who gets up at 5am and either runs 5 miles or do an hour set of power yoga, but at 31 this seems far away, like another world!
After a 10 minute drive, in which I blare music and hastily apply mascara in the car (okay, at stop lights I promise) I get to work. Funniest thing about my job, even as a teacher at a "high-risk" middle school in a highly gang dominated area, the children are my favorite part about my job.  I love it!! Seriously, I just get them, maybe its my past, or my own need to be free and happy that drives my understanding and the connections to them, but whatever it is, they are amazing.  I feel like all the mornings of waking before the sun (which every teacher in the world does), weekends writing lessons and grading papers, and all the drama is so worth it.  Its just some of the adults in my building I don't get.  I wish I could help every teacher at my school see the possibilities they are cultivating and be happy at our little school, then my job would be a dream.  As it is, its hard somedays. Off to work.

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